Seattle, Washington
Written in late May, 2008

QUESTION

“Why me?”

A question asked when life goes suddenly, seriously wrong. You’re diagnosed with cancer, you get fired, your spouse sues for divorce, a child drowns, your house catches fire, your troubled teenager runs away, your health insurance is canceled, or your life savings are lost in a bad investment. And so forth and so on and so forth and so on and . . . so.
Sometimes it’s not just one but several of these soul-blows at once.

“Why me?”

In the years when I was an active parish minister my counsel was often sought in these situations. “Why me? - I don’t deserve this!” people asked.
An ancient demand for clarity and justice. The Book of Job in the Bible is built around the same anguished cry. The underlying enigmatic question is “Why do bad things happen to good people?”

Hard to answer. Maybe it’s the wrong question to begin with.
It helps to know you are not really the special target of the forces of evil.
But not much.

Thick books have been written addressing the conundrum. Friends, family, psychiatrists, priests, social workers, and bartenders do what they can. We shake our fists at the gods and the fates and Lady Luck without results.

Most often, however, the question arises out of far less dramatic circumstances. A month of just one damned thing after another - the accumulation of the everlasting paper cuts of daily life, when things break or go wrong or turn sour and we say we just can’t win for losing. The scrambled egg of existence lurches out of the frying pan onto the floor.
Depressing. Disheartening. Frustrating. Irritating. Maddening.

“Why me?”

On the other hand.

There are those weeks, when the sun shines, an unexpected kindness comes our way, something truly amusing happens and we laugh ourselves silly, we get enough sleep, have sweet dreams, an old friend takes us away for an evening of music, a neighbor leaves a thank-you bottle of champagne in the fridge, a child gives you an unexpected hug, the wisteria suddenly blooms, you find a forgotten photograph of a lovely place and time you will never forget, and, and, and . . .

The world is “Yes” instead of “No.”
It’s not your birthday, but it feels like it - a rebirth of joy on a small scale.

There are those times, when for the very same uncontrollable reasons that the world seems to turn against us and every little thing goes wrong, that the world turns for us - and everything goes well for a spell. We’re ahead - on the plus side - a winner in the lottery of life.
And for a time it’s good to be so alive.

Happens.
When good things happen to good people.
And the question then might be, “Well, why not me?”

Odd that it’s actually more awkward to talk about ups than downs.
Nobody ever called me in the middle of the night to say they were happy.

But I just had one of those weeks.
I just wanted to tell somebody.
Why not you?