Seattle, Washington - January 28, 2010
Heavy fog and chilly this morning - but the promise of an early spring has been announced by the blooming of the first brave purple crocus flowers.

LAUNDRY ANNIVERSARY

“I am in charge of the laundry at my house.”

So begins the first essay after the Introduction to my first book, All I Really Need To Know I Learned In Kindergarten - first published 22 years ago.
The story itself was written three years before that.
Twenty five years have gone by.

It might be said that this is the silver anniversary of my laundry cogitation.
Not exactly a cause for public celebration, but a reason for private reflection.

I am still doing my share of the laundry - for the same reasons.
It gives me a sense of accomplishment and a feeling of competence.

Put in the dirty clothes, add detergent, push one button.
Washed.
Put the clothes in the dryer, push one button.
Dried.
Fold neatly.
Done.
A task completed - a need fulfilled.
For a moment, at least, life seems tidy and neat.

Doing the laundry still has religious dimensions, too.
It connects me to elemental aspects of existence.
Water, earth, fire - polarities of wet and dry, hot and cold, dirty and clean.
Round and around and around it all goes . . .
Small cycles as a metaphor for The Great Cycles of Being

Doing the laundry still provides simple-minded amusement, as well.
Static electricity will stick socks to you - and I still do that.
It’s cheap, harmless entertainment.

Moreover, in my house in Utah the walls are covered with thick rough plaster, and I discovered this winter that electrified socks and underwear fresh out of the dryer would stick to the laundry room wall if I threw them hard and high.
It happened by accident with the first sock, but after that it was on purpose.

At one point I managed to stick 12 socks, 6 of my under shorts, 3 of my companion’s bras, and 3 of her lacy underpants mounted on the wall like a collection of laundry trophies.

It worked so well that two days later I had to get up on a ladder to retrieve the items still stuck ten feet up near the ceiling.

Dumb, I suppose. But we laughed a lot, and a good laugh is good preventive medicine when you’re snowbound in winter.

Today I was washing new Carhart canvas work-pants that needed heavy duty washing and hot drying to get the stiffness out of them and shrink them to the right size.
The process needs close supervision.
This kept me standing in front of the washer and dryer pushing buttons.
And thinking.

The control panel of my life could use some of these elementary buttons.

When my mind is overfilled with busy-ness - too much in the mental machinery - I’d like to be able to push “Heavy Duty” or “Bulky Items” and shift automatically into a gear that could handle the load.

I’d like to have a “Delicate” cycle to handle the complicated stuff.

And a “Touch Up” or “Wrinkle Shield” button to push when all I need is a little smoothing out to function well for a day.

It would be nice if a “Cycle Complete” light would come on once in awhile, telling me I’ve done all that can be done for now.

And I wish I could get up in the morning and simply push “Normal” to keep a day from getting completely out of hand.

As for detergent, I don’t use CHEER anymore.
While I did like having a happy wash, I’ve switched to TIDE.
It has deeper implications - connecting me to the great pulsing of life - driven by forces beyond my control and understanding.
I like knowing my laundry has gone out with the tide.
As will I, someday.

My new Carharts have now endured the continuous thrashing of three hot cycles of Wash and three hot cycles of Dry.
They needed that in part because I had first taken them out in the yard and put them in some mud and on some gravel, and then backed my car over them a couple of times.
You can’t just put on a pair of new Carharts and be comfortable.
There’s a science to loosening them up.

I took one pair out of the dryer while it was still damp, and I’m sitting here writing this with warm damp trousers on.
Why?
So they will dry and fit my body just right - including the lumpy parts at the front and backside, and the bendy sections at the knees.

Despite it seeming a simple matter, doing laundry well involves some skill and experience and a philosophy.

So there you have it - a laundry essay anniversary update.

I ended that first laundry story by advising you not to try tasting CHEER.
I did.
And it was awful.
But my tongue was pretty clean for awhile.
Recent research says the same goes for TIDE.